The content below is primarily from The Tao of Coaching.

It is not about you. It's about the coachee.

Don't rely on assumptions. Ask a lot of questions.

Learn to be comfortable with awkward silences. Resist the urge to fill every blaqnk space with words.

At the end of each session, ask yourself: Did I help them think today? If the answer is yes, congrats! You had a good session.

Help them have a more accurate assessment of their skills. It is hard to improve when you are in the unconscious incompetence stage of competence.

Help them become independent.

The GROW Model

A simple four-step structure for coaching sessions.

  1. Goal. Agree on the goal of the discussion.
  2. Reality. Assess reality. Share specific examples.
  3. Options. What could be done? What will be done?
  4. Wrap up. Commit to action, define a timeframe, and identify possible obstacles

Goal > Reality > Options > Wrap-up





Selecting an appropriate coaching style

  1. For the task, diagnose the coachee's skill and will levels
  2. Identify the appropriate style (Direct, Guide, Excite, Delegate)
  3. Agree your intended approach with your coachee

Ensure you are addressing the coachee's skill and will to execute specific tasks - e.g., "answering questions about past mistakes" rather than "improve communication."

Direct (skill and will are both low)

Guide (low skill, high will)

Excite (high skill, low will)

Delegate (skill and will are both high)

Motivating your coachee

As you chat with your coachee check if they are in the Cycle of motivation or demotivation.

Cycle of motivation

Cycle of demotivation

Sample GROW questions




Wrap up